An Atheist Observes Ramadan: Week 1

Introduction:

I was instructed by fellow Muslim friends in the U.S. to start fasting for Ramadan on Wednesday, July 10th. I read that day that most Muslims in America started on Tuesday. I think the disagreement stems from when the crescent moon is visible in the night sky. More information on the controversy is better discussed here:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/09/ramadan-start-date_n_3566129.html

Ramadan is broken down like this: 

Fajr is the first of the five daily prayer. A meal is prepared and eaten before the prayer and before sunrise. The first day Fajr began at 4:06am. Dhuhr is the midday prayer that is silent and starts at 12:46pm, Asr, which is the afternoon prayer that is also silent and offered up at 4:36pm on the first day, Maghrib at 8:00pm, which is the prayer before breaking the fast. It was also customary to break the fast as Muhammad did with eating 3 dates. The final prayer which was the hardest for me for some reason was Isha at 9:27pm. 

I was reading about the Fajr prayer and was fascinated by the beauty (without it hinging on any actual truth, just more so poetic) that Allah favored this prayer the most because it was a more personal prayer due to the fact that everyone else was sleeping. Only the diligent practicing Muslims were getting God's prime attention in these hours. In some way it struck me as sort of intimate and beautiful.

Day 1 (Wednesday)

I set my alarm Tuesday night for 3:45am Wednesday morning. I barely had time to eat a peanut butter and honey sandwich and chug a bottle of water before prayer. As I would learn peanut butter was a bad choice (it was stuck in my throat a good portion of the morning without being able to drink water to wash it down.) It felt like a race against time to eat before 4:06am. I was so terrified to pray again. It had been so long since I had done such a thing. Of course this time it was to Allah instead of Yahweh. I was nervous even though this was completely private. I washed up and spread the towel (my prayer mat) on the floor, opened up the laptop for reference, and recited this prayer just in the nick of time :

By the light of day, and by the dark of night, your Lord has not forsaken you, nor does He abhor you. The life to come holds a richer prize for you than this present life. You shall be gratified with what your Lord will give you.

Did He not find you an orphan and give you shelter?

Did He not find you in error and guide you?

Did He not find you poor and enrich you?

Therefore do not wrong the orphan, nor chide away the beggar. But proclaim the goodness of your Lord.

I recited it over and over really grasping the meaning as I went along. I praised Allah multiple times then fell on my face towards the Qibla. Then that was it. It only lasted 10-15 min. I sat in silence for the last 5 min. face to the ground. I’m sure I did something wrong here (I didn't do my homework on how Muslims pray, obviously), but I feel like this whole month will be a learning process of what to do and not do. I will do my best to follow all the rules. After researching a little more I see there are specific orders and jestures for praying. I didn’t follow these orders. I will in the next prayer and from now on. This was fajr, next up Dhuhr (midday prayer). I’m not sure how I’m supposed to pray at work. I guess I’ll find out soon enough.

I’ve already broken rules. I cussed twice. I looked at a woman's body on TV for 2 seconds (but it wasn’t really out of lust just out of biologic instinct) I caught myself and stopped.  The one very good thing about Ramadan is it forces you pay attention to your life. I really like the fact that you notice what you do. I’m not so sure I buy the censoring yourself bit of it, but I do think that being more aware of what you say, what you think, what you do is overall a good thing. It brings searing personal clarity in this rat race world.

The Duhuhr prayer went much more smoothly with this guide I found online: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7MbKmTCNSU 

Of course I messed up on some details on which way to angel your feet and my scoliosis is problematic when I go into ruku. I did mess up and drop and F-bomb in frustration, which I instantly noticed and asked for forgiveness for (is that strictly a Catholic thing though?). So far refraining from cussing has been the hardest for me. I thoroughly enjoyed the peaceful prayer time. I think it’s important in meditation and prayer to truly “let go” of everything. You must free yourself of your thoughts, your anxiety, your upcoming schedule at work, and just be in "the moment". In many ways this is a beautiful thing about Islam. It teaches you to stop and pray. It commands that you stop your busy life and take a minute to just sit and focus. It’s as if the specific details of prayer and the specific times help discipline you. Is this the good of religion? Are we a species of apes that need routine and discipline to live a healthier life (even as adults)? Maybe.

I think in my life I am one of those humans that could really benefit from religion. That sounds really strange to say, but what I mean is my life has been so aimless and so disjointed in the last 10 years. I had no direction, no goal as far as career path or overall life decisions. I’m just taking up space and deepening my carbon footprint. In some odd way its what atheists like me lack. We need a lifeline, a grid to fall into to live a more successful life. I suppose that lifeline can be filled with a career path or humanitarian work, but I can see how religion can suck you in. It’s arms are open wide and accepting of anyone. And it's easy. You don't need to be a specialist to partake in it. That's why atheists desperately need companionship and solidarity, working together in their local communities in groups. I read that ex-pastor Jerry Dewitt was starting a church for atheists. Not that they would worship science or whatever but that they were get together for fellowship.

There is something very humanizing about participating in strict religious rituals such as Ramadan. You sort of get this overwhelming realization that we are all just humans. Having some knowledge of the sciences of cosmology, geology, and biology you tend to always pull back to see the big picture: we are just a species of ape on this insignificant planet, of which is billions of years old, the cosmos is deeply older, and so on. So when you see these Muslims praying, fasting, and connecting to the poor and reflecting on Allah you see those like myself that are atheists who aren't Muslim or Mormon or Christian or Jew or Scientologists, you see we're all the same. You see the connection: who knows who is right. I may be wrong – there may actually be a God of some kind (that God may very well be Allah), but the one thing we all know is that we are human beings. And we are all just working things out each in our own way. In this regard I have been knocked off my pedastal of looking down on the religious people with their delusions of god and am beginning to see we are all on the same level. No one is better than anyone else here. Life is internal. The big questions are subjective and we all have to grapple how we deal with these questions til we die and turn back into stardust eventually.

I made it through the day. I didn’t think I would. Either the lack of caffeine or lack of food or combo of both led me to one of the worst migraines I’ve ever had. I was doing an offsite book signing, sitting next to my fellow worker selling Oscar Goodman’s book, who was sitting next to Dinesh D'Souza who was also signing his new book, when I began to feel very light headed and nauseous. I was at this event in Vegas called "Freedomfest" full of Tea Party types. Let's just say these weren't really my people. I got up in a daze trying to go get some water (the rule I have broken here and there when absolutely necessary). This was around 7:30pm. 30 min to go. It was somewhat of a nightmare aimlessly feeling my way around a room full of white Republicans (minus Dinesh). I felt like I was in the movie "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" tripping on acid as I stumbled among these reptiles. I finally got water from the bartender. This helped as I was very close to passing out. To break fast I unwisely chose to eat a burger which made me want to throw up. I only ate half of it and ate later on that night soup and chicken once my stomach settled.

In those moments of terror where the headache was so bad I could barely walk I remember vividly missing moderate Christianity. I missed my old comfortable Middle America, white moderate religion where Jesus was just alright and he would help you find your car keys. I missed being comfortable and natural as I twisted reality to match my Holy Book's teachings. I really began to hate Islam in those moments (as if it was forcing me to do this.) I time-traveled back to when I was younger and despised a religion I knew nothing about. That was a religion practiced by non-whites over in some place that wasn't America. Eww. The fast came to an end I prayed and went to bed.

Day 2 (Thursday)

Woke up on time. Had a very successful prayer after a small meal went back to bed. I found a helpful instructional video online that uses some computerized green Muslim showing step by step the motions you must go through when praying as I mentioned earlier. The prayer (salah) I recite every morning is in two parts. The first part is as follows:

In the name of Allah, the most Beneficial, most Merciful. Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds. The Beneficient, the Merciful. Master of the Day of Judgment. You alone we worship and to You alone we turn for help. Guide us to the Straight Path. The path of those whom You favored. Not of those who earned Your anger. Nor of those who went astray.

In the name of Allah the most Beneficient, most Merciful.  He is Allah. The One (Unique). Allah, the Independent upon whom all depend; He fathers not, nor is He fathered; And there for Him is none alike.

I start with hands raised, palms facing the Qibla (northeast-ish)

I place my right hand over my left just over bellybutton and with three fingers shown. Then recite salah.

I go into ruku (which is a bent position with hands on knees)

Then sujood. (which is knees first, nose then forehead, palms on ground in a bowing position, feet have toes pointed out towards the Qibla.)

Then sit on the floor with right foot straight, left foot bent to the side. then another sujood then up again to recite the last surah.

In the name of Allah, the most Beneficient, most Merciful. I seek refuge with the Lord of Dawn. From the mischief of created things; From the mischief of Darkness as it overspreads; From the mischief of those who blow knots (practice witchcraft); And from the mischief of the envious one as he practices envy. 

Then repeat...

The index finger is pointed forward, then I turn my head to right then to left and then I'm allowed to ask Allah whatever I wish in prayer requests.

Today was drastically more tolerable than yesterday. I did not break fast, however on my way to work since I was traveling I did stop for a cup of black iced coffee to combat the migraine I knew was coming since I hadn’t eaten all day. It worked miracles. I felt great all day.

-- This is the one thing I apparently couldn't give up since it helped combat migraines. I know this is cheating but it is something that I had to do to help me function without pain all day. I would never put anything in coffee (no milk or sugar).--

Around 7pm I began to get pretty weak but I did eat after prayer, thanking Allah for the meal. I ate plums, oranges, banana, and apricot while easing myself into an actual meal of a burrito with black bean dip from Trader Joes. I learned my lesson from yesterday by not eating too much too quickly. I did stop for a burger on the way home at In & Out too. I just had to, alright, don't judge me! I also stopped for a 24 oz beer, I don’t know if this is against the rules of Ramadan. (Of course I know it is -- since practicing Muslims never drink anyways). I always feel like after 8pm you are allowed to do whatever, except cuss, sexual relations, etc. but maybe that’s not the case. Maybe tomorrow I will do better. It's day two and I have already cheated.

Day 3 (Friday)

Cheated this time once again. I'm drastically failing at Ramadan. I would make a horrible Muslim. I drank water without driving. I also stopped for coffee on the way to work, though it was black with no cream or sugar it helped combat the headache that was sure to follow a day of not eating. Overall this has been absolutely liberating. It feels weird to know that I could actually get used to not eating anything all day long. I didn’t pray today except in the morning and night, it is very difficult to pray at work since it involves the prayer mat, etc. I came back to a beautiful spread of food to break my fast around 8:45pm tonight at my friend's house. Hummus, dates, cucumbers, tomatoes and cheese, baba ghanoush, rice, bread, and peppermint tea. Also various deserts that were all so delicious. Today was one of the best days I’ve experirence with Ramadan. I discussed with my Muslim friend taking food to homeless this Sunday when I am off work to do more charity work. My atheist friend and I are planning on breaking fast together tomorrow (magrid) around 8pm. I look forward to Day 4.

Day 4 (Saturday)

This day began horribly. The Envious One made me oversleep. I woke up at 5am. My alarm didn’t go off for some reason, and I was barely able to pray without eating before sunrise. Little did I know this was only the beginning of my going astray and slipping away from some of the core rules during Ramadan. For the last few days I was unable to pray at the other times. However, I did what I could to make up for it. Each day becomes easier to not eat. Even at work. In fasting it’s sort of this state of tranquil bliss one experiences life through this hazy lens. I love it. It really is like being on a drug. And I am sort of becoming used to it quickly. However, around 6pm when I got off work I was ready to eat. I met up with my atheist friend to grocery shop for breaking our fast. It was his first day of the fast and he was experiencing it just as roughly as I was on my first day.

We grabbed some groceries from Whole Foods and Smith’s. We stumbled around all weak and tired at the stores. We went back to his place to prepare the meal. It was an all raw meal. We prepared veggies with baba ghanoush, cucumbers, broccoli, cauliflower, peppers, tomatoes and nan with falafel. It was very delicious. We broke our fast with organic dates, and after we ate we enjoyed tea and homemade vanilla bean, honey ice cream. My friend and I had a good time discussing all sorts of different subjects. This was one of my favorite Ramadan days ... until nighttime. I met up with a friend and we both did something no strict Muslim does, drank beer. We had a couple of beers (a gift from my manager at my job) and I stayed up way too late. So late in fact I completely missed fajr.

Day 5 (Sunday)

I woke today with a mild hangover from just a couple beers since I don't drink often, which required water and a large helping of guilt for missing morning prayer. I slept through it all. I participated in the midday prayer at 12:46pm since I was off work and able to. I spoke with my Muslim friend who mentioned our ideas of charity work may be better served if we donate money to Red Cross (as they seem to be the only major charity organization that doesn’t pay their presidents and CEOs big money). He also let me know that most of the charity work is done near the end of Ramadan so we can go around giving out bottled water and food to homeless then. I still may start my charity work earlier, but I agreed to focus more on doing it during the end of Ramadan. My friend was going to store to get food to prepare a healthy meal to break fast tonight at 8pm.

So far I’ve changed my attitude about how much I really need food during the day and how much I pointlessly consume. In this regard Ramadan has given me power over my own urges. Ramadan was supposed to teach me that I am much more than merely an animal, with these typical animal urges. Unlike the savages from other species we can control our sexual urges or other "immoral thoughts" and keep them at bay. Of course this is all for Allah’s sake, not simply to make society civil and keep sexually violent crimes down. Whatever works, right? I have to wonder what else Ramadan will teach me, since it seems it has not stopped me from cussing. It also hasn’t kept me praying consistently or stopped me from drinking alcohol. I haven’t done any charity work yet, and when I did finally eat, at least in my first few days, I gorged on junk food, which is counterproductive of the fast in the first place.

I also haven’t felt anything when I’ve prayed. Maybe I am doing it wrong or I'm not giving it the focus it deserves. However I did pray to have a completely peaceful uneventful day at work with no crazy incidences and that came true so does Allah answer prayers? Did Yahweh help me find my car keys as a teenager? Need I reiterate that I am an atheist and I don’t believe in this, but in some ways I wish I could “feel something” devout when I pray as the faithful do. I want to be swept up in the spirit of Islam to see what all this is about. I don’t want to feel like I’m just following an online instructional video with a little green Muslim guy each time I pray. Which is precisely what I’m doing so far. Maybe Islam will teach me something after all, but I have to say so far not much going on in my heart or head, just in my stomach.

Day 6 (Monday)

This was one of the most successful days of Ramadan for me. I ate a proper meal for fajr. I ate all kinds of fruits and rice pudding with honey. It was delicious. I went back to bed and woke up fairly late. I noticed that when I can sleep in I do sleep in since it’s easier to deal with fasting when you are sleeping the day away. Since I ate so much in the morning it actually made me much more hungry all day long, but I survived and for the first time prayed all five prayers required for Muslims. Even at work I was able to sneak away on my break and do a quick prayer. I had a thought though, in the midday prayer while I was reciting the usual prayer,

In the name of Allah the most Beneficient, most Merciful.  He is Allah. The One (Unique). Allah, the Independent upon whom all depend; He fathers not, nor is He fathered; And there for Him is none alike.”

In the Bible (Exodus 34:14) we see Yahweh is a jealous God; it seems Allah is no different. My skepticism kicked in right in the middle of praying this. This whole idea seems so outdated. It made since in days when religion was the only game in town. There was no such thing as science. There were no atheists then. So various religions faced serious competition from other religions. No one is worshiping multiple gods these days either. The main thing I’ve noticed about the Qu’ran as I’ve read it so far (I’m only a few hundred pages into it at the moment) is that Islam is constantly trying to separate itself from other religions. “He fathers not, nor is he fathered.” – Islam is not Christianity. In the free market of selling religion back when Islam was really young it was important to talk down the competition.  It is a market strategy to distance oneself from the competitor - (AKA: Judaism or Christianity.) It all seems so man-made, derived, and so dated. It actually made me sad to realize this. Especially during prayer.

It also made me realize my privileged position in time, in racial, class, gender status in this country. I am an atheist simply because I have had the freedom to question, I have had the freedom to educate myself. Had I been born in a different time period, in a different country or as a different gender or race I may not be so lucky. I do consider myself lucky to be free as I am here in America in this time period. I have the privileged advantage of sitting back and looking at human history and it's long littered past of religions (dead and alive) and pick and chose what makes sense per my own reasoning and logic. I am not devoid of perspective. I try to constantly remind myself of my status in life. 

After work I broke my fast in the most American way possible – I ate at a big fat juicy burger once again. I came home and ate a salad as well. This day was a success. I packed a small breakfast of dates, bananas, and rice pudding again to take up to my room to eat for fajr. Today my Muslim friend jokingly said I think I am going to take you to the Mosque at the end of Ramadan and everyone there will love you for observing this old Muslim tradition. I simply don't look like a typical Muslim. I thought to myself that due to the fact that I am a white person, an American from the Midwest originally, with brown hair and blue eyes, that I would be welcomed as an ally for this often demonized religion in this country. That thought made me smile. I have mixed feelings about this notion of so called "Islamophobia" in so much that it's not the people (Muslims) anti-theist are combating in the war of ideas but the doctrine of Islam. However, in this country we profile people and it's unfortunately. Just as we do with Hispanics in the border states or African Americans nearly everywhere, we do the same with Muslims in the long wake after 9/11. Some of the most loving people I know are practicing Muslims. I would trust my life to these beautiful, kind, loving, caring people. I remembered what I said earlier, it all goes back to us simply being a species of apes just trying work things out in our heads all the time.

Day 7 (Tuesday)

This is it. This is day 7 for me, day 8 for some. I woke today without a hitch, had my breakfast, and also had a great morning prayer before sunrise. I prayed again for Dhuhr just before 1pm. I went to work as usual in the afternoon. I thought not eating all day would make me irritable. In the past I have become a monster to people I'm around if I haven't eaten in a long while. Working in a retail environment just magnifies the problem since it seems 99% of the customers that come in are morons and never know what they actually want. I was pleasantly surprised to notice that instead of making me angry towards my fellow human beings, fasting brought about a certain love for people. I know that sounds cheesy but it is true. In my hunger-fueled daze I became more compassionate and move interested in helping people.

One example: Tonight I helped a woman who was basically dying of cancer. She had lymphoma and was in our store just after a chemo treatment. She was constantly apologizing for not being able to talk well and express a clear thought. She was looking for anti-cancer cookbooks and other such helpful healthy books. I spent so much time talking with her about her life and I kept making her laugh. She loved me, she told me after I ordered several books for her. She found me engaging and fun to be around and after our exchange it hit me. It felt like a shot of adrenaline mixed with some euphoric drug high that I have never experienced on any drug. It was noticeably physical (chills, hair standing on end, elation - like I was almost coming out of my body.) It was as if the routinely "feel good about yourself" feeling you experience after helping others was magnified by my fasting and I felt like I jumped up a level in life. I felt transcended in that moment where I had to grab a hold of a nearby table to anchor myself in my weak state. That was an experience I will never forget and it's becoming extremely clear to me now that Ramadan is beginning to be a very positive experience in my life.

I prayed at work again, broke fast at 8pm with a few dates, then burrito and rice pudding. I ate a few walnuts as well. However, again went out with friends and had a few beers. The hardest part apparently I have with trying to emulate a Muslim during Ramadan is not drinking beer (and of course coffee and water). Even though the night went a little south off the path of a practicing Muslim the day was well worth my signing up for this ritual. I am now used to not eating until sundown. I went to bed satisfied about my experiences during my first week of Ramadan.

Week two coming soon ...

An Atheist Observes Ramadan Introduction

Hello,
I'm an atheist, obviously. Starting tomorrow I will be participating in Ramadan. As far as I know it isn't against the rules to blog during Ramadan. There are many rules though and I'll talk about them as I go along here. My fellow atheist and friend will be joining me. You will be able to follow his experience here:

Abstractainabsentia.wordpress.com

I plan on writing multiple posts during this month long observance of the Muslim ritual. We're asking the question why can't non-Muslims participate in Muslim rituals? Yeah! We'll see what comes of it. Please no pictures of food or drink. I really don't want to have to break my fast because someone sends me a picture of a cheeseburger. Keep you posted with emails once the fast begins.

-Magog.

My God Is the Sun & What It Means To Be An Atheist

Kneeling, my god is the sun
Heal them, with fire from above
Kneeling, my god is the sun

- Josh Hume (lead singer of the band "Queens of the Stone Age")

What if we were so fascinated with something we could observe that we worshiped it? Many ancient civilizations of humans (and quite possibly other species of other hominids) worshiped the sun, the moon, the stars, day, night, fire, and a wide variety of various animal species. How strange is it that the mentality of say a human being living hundreds of thousands of years ago has more in common with me than the all American white Christian family that attends their mega church every Sunday morning. These ancient hunter gatherers worshiped what sustained their lives. It makes sense. I can relate to sun worship completely. Without it I wouldn't be here to worship it. The ancient tribes lived off the animal gods that gave them meat and filled their stomachs. They saw the power of the sun growing their food as they began to move towards agriculture.

What we have now is people worshiping a god that has been presented in various ancient story books. What corner of the earth are you from geographically? This will more times than not pick what specific story book you will read. In this book you will read about a certain God of your ancestors. A God that in 2013 (when we have 3D printers, global positioning satellites, and electric cars) you are still required to worship. I was just looking at information online  on the month long Muslim ritual known as Ramadan. I have become somewhat fascinated by Islam as of late. Mainly because it's a religion I know essentially nothing about. I have been reading the Qu'ran and watching documentaries about trips to Mecca. Don't worry I'm still an atheist, of course. All I've noticed so far from the readings is a rip-off of the Old Testament.

Recently I was talking to an atheist friend of mine about how cool it would be, as non-Muslims, to attend a pilgrimage to Mecca someday. I was mentioning how I considered participating in Ramadan along side a Muslim friend of mine. Before looking into Ramadan much I had romantic ideas about this month long fast as something that could teach discipline and focus. It would clear my cluttered mind and the charity part of it was such a drawing point as well. I wanted to give the food I was supposed to eat for the day to the homeless. That sounded like a very humanitarian-driven feature of Ramadan.

However, once I started reading more, that old familiar bitter taste of religious dogma came back. The idea of sexuality being impure. It's not the command to abstain from having sexual relationships for a month that bothers me, it's that the reason for doing so. The reason for the abstinence is because sexuality in general is considered "worldly" or "unholy". Also, the idea of not drinking water all day is absurd (especially in the desert). You can see the barbaric ignorant mental process of the creators of this entire ritual when you see the exceptions: You are exempt from the required fasting if you are menstruating, traveling, are severely ill, breast-feeding, or pregnant. It reminds me of the Old Testament and all the ridiculous rules and regulations down to the last specific detail of Yahweh and His obsessive compulsive disorder. Yahweh is just re-labeled "Allah" in the Qu'ran. You see the ugly head of religion and it's reward-based charity when you read that during Ramadan good deeds are more handsomely rewarded.

I remember fasting when I was younger. It was during my Bible college years. Though it may seem like elaborate front for not having money to eat as any other typical college freshman would attest to, it was something I thought gave me some insight into God's plan for my life. God tends to speak clearer when you starve your body of nourishment. It's really quite silly when you think about it. Starve your body of water and food for days and your mind hallucinates. Your eyes and ears play tricks on you. I hate to break it to the faithful, but the year is 2013 and we have this thing called medical science: It's not God, it's malnourishment, come you silly superstitious creatures.

I have been reading this book lately with a theist friend Dan I have mentioned in my past emails. It's called "An Atheist's Guide to Reality". (It was his pick). I agree with most of what I've read so far in the book, but it really got me thinking about what it means to be an atheist. I think most the time when we argue or debate with theist friends or family members they don't understand how things are set up. They don't understand they own the burden of proof. The default position is no God. It's that simple. To make a positive claim they have to prove to us that there is a God then they have to prove that their specific God (Yahweh - for Christians. Allah - for Muslims) is the correct God.

That is a monumental task since proving a being who's essence is "outside of time and space" and supernatural is impossible using scientific inquiry. Since science deals with the natural world. So the lazy theist will shake their hands and say, - See, it's a wash then. No one can prove there is or isn't a god when all we have is natural means to test a natural world. No one wins. That's where faith comes in. It's all about faith.. and that whole dead way of using your ignorance and subjective experience as somehow proof you are on to something. It is not a wash. We never owned the burden of proof (the theist did by default) unless we as an atheist are saying there is no god -- which I, for one, am not. There is simply not enough evidence that there is a god = Atheist. 

So that's the basic philosophical argument part of what it is to be an atheist. So if the atheist can get a theist to admit that they have all the work to prove to you that there 1. is a god and 2. that their specific god is the correct one, then you can actually move forward, or I should say, they can move forward presenting you evidence. If it's a Christian you may get something along the lines of -- OK, I can show you the historical evidence for the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus. The Lee Strobel types. First off, is it actually possible that we can be 99.9% (science doesn't deal in absolutes) certain of this historical evidence?  Can we trust ancient medical practices? Could there have been a lie told? A dishonest human being? A fudged medical test result? What's more likely that those that examined Jesus' body after he died were part of the conspiracy to make Jesus appear to be who he said he was OR that Jesus was an actual son of a God (as well as God himself, who had no mother) that created this cosmos, that made himself part of this strand of ape species he created to die for all homo sapiens (ignoring all the other species. Maybe they need their own savior?) to appease his father/himself so he/his father doesn't have to send this particular ape species to an eternal lake of fire in another plane of existence when they die (by the way, oxygen is required for fire thus there is oxygen in hell).

We don't even need to go this far with this strand of evidence. Even if all of these were true and Jesus did raise from the dead, so what? At best we get something really "weird" happened in ancient Palestine. Something that required further inquiry to see how this medical "miracle" happened. Could we replicate the results of this discovery of a resurrection event? It doesn't lock in the truth of the rest of the Biblical claims. Christians act as if proving Jesus' resurrection would end the god debate, because all the prophecies would be fulfilled and all the pages of the bible proven to be true. (of course not the pages where in Leviticus god tells us how to cure leprosy.) For example, I believe the "flat earth hypothesis" to be 100% correct. I have seen the earth and it looks flat to me (observation is one of the core tenants of science experimentation.) Of course many other points claimed in this disproved hypothesis have been debunked many many years ago, yet there are still actual people that believe the earth is flat. Check out holocaust deniers or all politicians are reptilian aliens. There are many conspiracy theories out there that have colonels of truth to them, but it doesn't meant the entire conspiracy theory story is correct. Same goes with the resurrection story of the Bible.

Proving Jesus resurrected and even ascended to "heaven" still doesn't answer the question of why? Why in the world would a God be the same person as his own son in the first place? How do you have a son without a mother? Why would that son/father combo along with the vestige god part (according to Baptists) the Holy Spirit set up everything this way? Why does he need to sacrifice a third (which is also the whole) of himself to himself, I mean come on here? This is laughable. I remember in Sunday School they would tell us that before Jesus people were allowed into heaven if they sacrificed a lamb to God, but when Jesus became the "ultimate lamb" (which I'm sure would be his license plate if Jesus drove a car) people no longer had to sacrifice lambs. What? What about the lambs? What kind of God needs lambs blood to settle down his anger? The god of the bible sounds psychotic at the very least. How adults can still believe this stuff is beyond me.

This also gets us into intelligent design vs. unintelligent design. Things we DO know about our universe have been given to us by scientific investigations. Entire fields of science have given us our past - evolutionary biology. In this field of science we see all sorts of design flaws. If you look at each of these it begins to look like sloppy evolution by natural selection over grand design of some omniscient deity. Cosmology shows us the same thing on a grand scale. The sheer waste of energy and empty space. Here we have black holes, dark matter, collapsing stars, failed galaxies. What kind of design is this? A failed one. Even in the Christian's holy book, the Bible, God is a failed designer. He made a species of ape (after his own image. God must have been really hairy back then) that rebelled and since they didn't obey their father he had to start over with a world wide flood. Another example of poor design. The book of revelations is yet to happen apparently. What is it about? More wiping out of a species due to a failed design. He keeps having to start over all the time. God looks more and more incompetent than anything. Trust me, it's not just the Bible, the Qu'ran is full of an insecure, incompetent god that requires constant worship too. As Christopher Hitchens once said, -- these sorts of things cannot being believed by a thinking person. It's true. Those that live with their cognitive dissonance are simply selecting the information they choose to retain.

Meet the "Flat Earthers":
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flat_earth#Modern_flat-Earthers

Neil deGrasse Tyson on UNintelligent Design in the Universe:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ti3mtDC2fQo

Queens of the Stone Age song "My God Is the Sun":
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-90obSa1Az4

Bishop John Shelby Spong talks about Carl Sagan and his calculations on the ascention of Jesus. Where is Jesus now? Sagan did the math:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhAmYJgbFqk

Crop Circles As Art

I am not writing this blog for the 7 people that will read it. I don't expect comments on this blog because it is solely a blog to make me feel better. Apparently according to the google blog tracker most of my readers are from Germany not the United States. What? Why is that happening? Oh well, I love Germany so that's awesome. I want to move to Freiburg, Germany. The really cool sustainable Eco City! I wish America was more like Germany in this way. How many more German followers will I get now for sucking up?!

I love you Germany!

Anyways, the reason I am writing this blog is for me to one day open up, read again, and think - you know, yeah that's right - crop circles are just really cool artwork made by humans.

Let me explain:
Not more than six or seven years ago I was obsessed with UFOs, ancient aliens, abduction stories, and crop circles. So much so, in fact, that I had a crop circle tattooed directly onto my forearm following my ulna bone vertically. The crop circle I decided to get tattooed on my body was from a picture I found in a crop circle book. The picture showed a field in England (some 90% of all crop circles are found here) with  a design of an arrow cutting through a circle (which apparently was supposed to mean the Earth) and the caption below the picture said Hopi Indians translated the crop circle to mean ... (wait for it!)

Mother Earth Cries

So there ya go. Another young American white boy gets a deep meaningful tattoo from some other culture tattooed visibly on his body. Don't get me started on my Chinese writing tattoos. That was a crazy time period when I was younger - getting Chinese symbols on your body. I have one that translates to English as (HOPEFULLY!):

Set Apart

... and another that says in English

Temple

I am not full of myself or so self-centered to get something like that, if you were once an Evangelical Christian teenager you will understand. I know plenty of people that went with the crown of thorns tat or the praying hands tat. It's OK. I own my past, but of course eventually I want to have these tattoos covered up with something a little less religious to say the least. I also have the "dove of the Holy Spirit" as a sort of tribal tattoo (gag) around my right arm. If any of you grew up in the Christian alternative rock scene you may remember a Christian hardcore band named "Unashamed". This design was taken from the back of the band t-shirts.

Needless to say, the crop circle tattoo wasn't my first "new age" tattoo. In fact I have a another one - a very large forearm tattoo of Quetzalcoatl. This is the Mesoamerican "feathered-serpent" god that was linked to some of the New Age books I was reading on the Mayan 2012 prophecy. Of course that day came and went and no plumed serpent god came down from the sky. Fun Fact: Apparently some Mormons interpreted Jesus Christ in the Book of Mormon as Quetzalcoatl visiting the North American Natives after his resurrection. Weird. Just found that out while writing this.

So if we let the skeptics take on crop circles, let's see what happens. If you would have told me when I was getting crop circles tattooed all over my body that crop circles were nothing more than some crafty corn artists I would have laughed. HOW?! How could they make such complex patterns so quickly (sometimes even overnight!) What about those balls of light found. I never once questioned - why circles in the first place? Clearly circles means man-made right from the start. If you watch a simple compass experiment with planks and rope in a field you will see what I mean. In 1991 self-professed creators of most crop circles Doug Bower and Dave Chorley came clean with the public and created a crop circle using just those simple tools in front of journalists and cameramen. Since then the copycat artists have taken off and there has been nearly 10,000 crop circles reported in the last third of the 20th century.

Crop circles are essentially graffiti in corn or barley fields. Just as owners of residential or business buildings are pissed off at graffiti artists for tagging their walls, farmers are pissed off at crop circle artists for smashing their crops. I mean, come on! Who wants to eat smashed corn?! If agribusiness engineered pest resistant corn (BT corn) then they should be able to create crop circle maker resistant corn. No? Does that joke work here? Anyways, just like with really good graffiti, art attracts tourists and this can be problematic to everyday business.

The crop circle designs became increasingly more complex. This is where I stepped in as a believer. This is what convinced me. Well, this and the myriad of "documentaries" on extraterrestrial origins of crop circles. How can these complex geometrical designs be man-made with some boards and rope? The crop circles in the early 2000s were very complex and had fractal designs. However, it can be done. Some have suggested that the circle makers use GPS and lasers to create these intricate mathematical crop circles.

I would not have understood things this way back when I was not-so-skeptical about things, but the fact of the matter is crop circles are most likely made by circle maker artists of human origin. All one simply has to do is weigh the evidence. There is countless evidence of "pranksters" or humans creating crop circles. In 2004 a circle maker was caught in mid-creation of a crop circle in the Netherlands. Bower and Chorley explain how they made circles in the English countryside. Many other examples of humans creating crop circles count for evidence of a human origin, obviously. On the other side - the paranormal side, we have no scientific evidence presented. The scale is lopsided and we can clearly distinguish who the author of these crop circles are by looking at the evidence or lack thereof. As cool as it is to think it is either just the "hive mind" of collective humanity telling us to stop global warming or space ships passing through our dimension, the real artist is a man with some boards and rope. Throw in a laser and GPS or two and you'll have your culprit.

Sadly, I did not learn this before tattooing a big black crop circle on my forearm. But oh well. All joking aside, I still like my crop circle tattoo. It shows character and it reflects a time in my life when I felt so passionately about something I thought (and many others with me) was a deep mystery. I can also view my crop circle tattoo as cool crop graffiti made by some rebellious artists in England. His or her heart must have been racing as they smashed the crops down quietly in the night with boards strapped to their feet after tracing out patterns prepped before hand. These is the modern Nazca Line artists. It is meant to be seen from high above and it's really prettying cool. I like my crop circle tattoos and I think I'll keep it. Now time to get that "the Moon landing was a hoax" forehead tattoo removed.

This was one of the most powerful paranormal crop circle documentaries I remember:
"Crop Circles: Quest for Truth":
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4e_wlLb_kk

Meet Germany's sustainable Eco-City:
http://grist.org/slideshow/2011-07-29-freiburg-a-model-city-in-germany/

Here's my tattoo:

Thoughts on Death and Dying from a Relatively Young Healthy Atheist

 We are going to die and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential people who could have been here in my place but who will in fact never see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of Arabia. Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than Newton. We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively exceeds the set of actual people. In the teeth of these stupefying odds it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here.We privileged few, who won the lottery of birth against all odds, how dare we whine at our inevitable return to that prior state from which the vast majority have never stirred? - Richard Dawkins  

As I write this Aubrey de Grey and his fellow Biogerontologists are exploring ways to turn us from humans to transhumans. We are, in the decades to come, going to understand our cellular biology so well that we will be able to end or greatly push back this annoying problem called death. Aubrey de Grey and his fellow scientists are exploring regenerative medicine, which is a process of regenerating or replacing human cells, organs, or tissues in the body. This is done by replacing damaged tissue and/or by stimulating the human bodies own repair mechanisms to heal previously irreparable organs or tissues. I was lucky enough to attend a speech by Michio Kaku recently where he spoke of the future of humanity. Among computerized wallpaper, computerized contact lenses, and invisibility cloaks he also mentioned harnessing our biology. We already have 3-D printers printing prosthetic limbs and creating vegan "beef" in the lab for those that don't eat meat, the world of tomorrow is going to be very different. Death will more than likely be a thing of the past.
So I am dating myself while writing this. If for some reason this blog entry survives decades from now and people look at it, it will be in historical context of "oh that's when people died. How weird it must have been for these people." Hopefully, as we all wish this anti-aging discovery will be made available before I die. Of course my luck, it will be discovered and presented for public consumption as I'm 85 years old. So I'll forever be stuck as an 85 year old man all hunched and bitter. Stuck forever - bitching out those damn kids and their bell-bottoms and Jimi Hendrix (because you know it will have looped back around for the 6th time by then and become popular again).
I was talking to my atheist friends recently about death and I mistakenly said that I was terrified of death. They mentioned how they were not terrified of death at all. Are you terrified during Delta Sleep? When the blackness takes over you are neither here nor there. You die every night and we don't live our waking lives in a panic that we will eventually have to go into oblivion later that night when we lay our head down on our pillows. What I was really saying was, like most people, I'm afraid of dying. The process of dying is terrifying. It's the not knowing part of it. The various ways to die are endless. I could die violently and painfully (which is by the way the way most species of animals have died on this planet in Earth's history – A pleasant thought!) or I could die peacefully at an old age of 84. I could die slowly of cancer (odds are high in this country. Plane crash death - odds are low. Car crash death - odds are higher. Do you ever think about how fragile life’s moments are? When you are driving around town, looking briefly at your iPhone or flipping radio stations get that freakish realization that you are driving this hunk of plastic/metal at ridiculous speeds (that weren't really meant for our fragile human frame in case of impact.) It's terrifying to suddenly pulled yourself out of the thick veil of "I'm of course going to be fine as I drive 75 miles an hour down this uneven road" and realize, holy shit this is really happening right now.
Recently "This American Life" aired an episode called "Hit the Road". Act one was about 23-year-old Andrew Forsthoefel and his journey to walk from the east coast of the U.S. to the west coast, interviewing people along the way about what they would tell their 23 year old self if they could. He went through five pairs of shoes and met all kinds of people, recording with his hand held tape recorder their stories. He talks about different types of walking he experienced: speed walking, fear-walking, weep-walking. As he reaches the last hundred miles of his journey he describes his "weep-walking" euphoria. He expresses how he was haunted by the thought of "The End", the end of his journey, yes, but really the end of his life. Tears rolled down my eyes as he poetically examines what coming to grips with one's own death feels like.
As a Christian I believed that the end was not really the end, but the beginning. Yes, it was the end of this life on planet Earth with these bodies we inhabit, but it was the start to a new life. It was a life of being close to God and his Son Jesus Christ. As a Christian I believed Jesus died for my sins (that I inherited at birth - by just being born a human being). This, as I was told, was the single greatest act of love possible. The ultimate sacrificial Lamb - we've probably all seen The Passion of the Christ by now. The bloodier the depiction, the more real your gratefulness becomes as a Christian. This is the ultimate reward as a Christian - getting to go "home" (heaven) to be with Jesus and to thank him for all eternity for what he did for me and

all other Christians.
Well, needless to say, that's sounds terrible now. As an atheist I don't agree with the doctrine of Christianity at it's very opening act. - Original sin. If I do not accept the doctrine of original sin, I certainly don't need "saving" from it. For me, now, the whole story crumbles before it even gets going. So here I am as an open atheist. I’m no longer ashamed. I’m not in the closet about it anymore. So what do I think happens when I die? Nothing of course. We “sleep” forever. Does our consciousness move on? From what I can deduct consciousness is rooted in the functions of our brains and when we die, our brains die. There is zero evidence that our "souls" move on. There is no evidence for a "soul" in the first place. Maybe that would be nice, but that is wishful thinking without evidence to support it. So we can say these things if it makes us feel good, but it must not be treated as anymore than fantasy. As long as we are clear on this. My friend once rightly pointed out that one of the single greatest selling points to Christianity is playing on this "fear of death". It's essentially spiritual "afterlife insurance". Of course there is no evidence for this, but we are fearful animals that need comfort in our predicament of being alive and being conscious of our own demise. This may be uniquely human and it comes with understandably a whole heaping helping of fear.
What is so bad about "nothingness" when we die? Our body breaks down into the elements and feeds the worms, bacteria, and other organisms that will eventually be mixed with water and gases and be burned up billions of years from now when our sun dies. And then the elements that made up our bodies will spread across the cosmos far from this solar system and who knows, we can postulate that those molecules that made up our bodies will one day make up the body of another planet, maybe even another species. Maybe even some distant day billions of years away an intelligent being on some other planet will look up at the stars and realize that that molecules making up its body came from distant stars and planets far away. They came from you. Maybe we came from them?
The most mindboggling thing I can think of at times is getting tiny glimpses of geologic time and juxtaposing it to our primate perception of time living less than ten short decades on this planet. I once wrote this regarding our perception of geologic time and our place in it:
We are animals, living organisms, evolved. We are one species among millions of others here on this planet. A sense of entitlement has greatly hindered us. It has masked our potential and obstructed our ability to put everything in our universe into perspective. You are the ever-changing result of long twisted shells of Time. So rarely really changing we can't even use the word "changing" really. And I say Time with a capital T because I am attempting to express billions of years. Understand where you are, when you are. We are in a universe filled with grandfather black holes and great great grandmother red dwarfs. Over and over like clockwork before there were clocks, and then there are stars, and stars, and stars, and more stars, everywhere, all of the Time. There are stars being born and stars violently dying. And that's just this galaxy. That's just this universe. There are billions and billions of stars, and quite possibly billions and billions of other universes, and long membrane super-strings which could be parallel universes right next to your face at this very moment, and between all of that - a massive amount of empty space - just nothing. And even what we think of as solid, an atom... is Mostly (and I say Mostly with a capital M) empty space. So then here's the Earth – blue, green, growing... for now, but in time-lapse photography this planet is a blink of bluish-green light that flickers then dies out. It’ s been less blue in the past and it will be less blue in the future. I think it’s absolutely imperative that you grasp the endless folds of Time here. Once you get that you can get some sort of frame of reference on what a fraction of a nanoparticle this all is, just passing through. Aren't we all just passing through quickly, really?
When I think about discoveries in cosmology, biology, genetics, etc I have to sit back and bask in a wowed trance. It is enough. I don't need magical stories of elves, unicorns, talking donkeys, burning bushes, a sacrificial God-Son, resurrections, or reincarnation. I don't need to go any further to these extraordinary claims without evidence. It’s enough for me to be able to see back in time at galaxies forming after the big bang with my own eyes through a telescope. What we know because of evidence in the sciences is profound and inspiring enough. Let's just stop for a moment and bask in the discoveries of science, get chills, have our hair stand on end, and smile like a fool. Scientific discoveries are magical enough. Miracles

are nature being nature. Cheap magician tricks like turning water to wine or casting demons into a herd of pigs are laughable in comparison to microwave background radiation, sunspots, the Aurora Borealis, volcanoes on Jupiter’s moon IO, photosynthesis, or cellular respiration.
All life (estimated 99.9%) that has ever lived on planet Earth has gone extinct. Think about that. Death is the default position. "We are going to die and we are the lucky ones." Why are we the lucky ones? We are the lucky ones because most will never be born. All the possible combinations of DNA sequencing and YOU were born. The odds are astoundingly not in your favor of being alive, and yet you are! Will Homo sapiens be the one species that uses its superior intellect to outsmart the one thing we know for certain more than anything else? - All living things die. Let’s hope so, because I, for one, don’t want this Show to end.

Religion Doesn't Poison Everything: Case in Point? - Me.

In my last blog entry I mentioned a Christian friend of mine named Dan. When we had our debates a few years back he asked me about my atheism. He mentioned the obvious truth - my overexposed religious upbringing caused my rejection of theism. He mentioned how growing up in the Baptist church/school environment for my entire childhood was probably not healthy. In fact, he stated that he thought that the Christian education I received wasn't adequately "Christian" enough or "proper" scholarly Christian enough. My issue with my religious upbringing stems almost solely from the education portion of my childhood. It's one thing to teach a child in Sunday School that Jonah lived in a whale, but it's quite another thing to talk about Noah's ark in biology class in junior high or high school. To compound the problem, the Christian school I went to at the time was drastically understaffed with credited teachers in the fields of mathematics and science. We had a great English teacher. I know she was good because those specific classes were actually memorable and she actually pushed us to learn. When I took my ACTs I found out just how poor my math skills were. I'm still playing catch up in college to this day. It wasn't necessarily like this every year, but some years were more understaffed in certain subjects than others. The philosophy was sacrifce quality of education for a "christian" education. (and censored education) - such as American history, for example. I know, I know Fox News would not approve of me learning a single critical thing about American history.

I have spoken often in my blog about my ferocious loathing of Christian education in place of public education (as the sort that I received). I can blame this "leg down" on life all I want, but of course in perspective just by being born a white male in twentieth century America gives me the biggest "leg up" possible. So I'm not devoid of perspective on this, and I don't fault my family for sending me to this school. Many may find that hard to believe, but I honestly do not hold a grudge. It was what they felt right at the time. I, of course, wouldn't send my kids to a evangelical school instead of public school. My father (as I've stated in previous blog entries) is very religious. My mother is a Christian. However, I am not sure if she goes to church as often as we all once did. My mother and I do not talk about religion. This isn't to say we couldn't some day or that it may just be my fault for being so afraid to talk about my disbelief with her. It's nerve-racking being an atheist when the rubber meets the road with a religious family. It's very, very uncomfortable as some of you may know. That's probably why a lot of families don't discuss these things if they disagree. It sure is much easier if you are not outspoken about your atheism or especially anti-theism. I do think being an atheist in this day and age is much easier than it used to be. In some ways it is like "coming out of the closet". Not quite as drastic as coming out as a gay man or lesbian, but awkward nonetheless with religious family members. It has generally been forbidden to discuss such things at the dinner table - such things as doubt in Christianity itself. Books by Dawkins and Harris have helped mainstream this idea of disbelief and skepticism being finally more socially acceptable. And no matter how many anti-neo-atheist books I read there is no denying that this push back towards religion in this country has helped. The latest polls show the nonbeliever group is now skyrocketing as fast as Christianity is declining in America.

As of late, I have become a little more on my heels about my anti-theism. I can't get this idea out of my head presented in Frans de Waal's book. It's so simple and not really all that profound but it shook me a bit. He says, "The central issue of atheism, which is the (non)existence of God, strikes me as monumentally uninteresting. What do we gain by getting in a tizzy about the existence of something no one can prove or disprove?" I can think of a counter argument to this - clearly there must be a pushback against the majority of religious indoctrination being shoved in our face in this country. Religion being taught in the science classroom via "intelligent design". Religion effecting women's rights to choose what to do with her body or stem cell research, etc. However, Waal is right. When we elevate above this centuries long debate between God or no God we see it's really sort of a non-issue. Religion does poison a lot of things in modern society. It could actually be a social vestige from our evolutionary past. It destroys our critical thinking skills, it robs us of our money, it brainwashes our children, it subjugates women and homosexuals, it flies planes into buildings, and gets us thinking unscientifically when we take the dogma as mandate from God or the "holy books" as literal, but above it all - it's really a non-issue. We live in a world where most people may need to take their eyes off of their Facebook accounts, set down their iPhones, turn off their Monday Night football,  shut off the reality TV, and think a little more deeply about things.

I focus so often in this blog on the "bad" in my life - the religious indoctrination, the untruths, the poor science education, etc, but what did I gain from my childhood? My parents were and still are very supportive and loving parents. We always had food to eat, provided by my father working at his factory job. Did you know my father made most of the furniture in our house? He also plays the piano and was really good at basketball. He doesn't play anymore, but he is an excellent golfer. He is hilarious to be around and he's one of those people that you can make laugh and laugh til the point that they are so red in the face they look like they will explode at any moment. I love my father a great deal.

And My mother. What can I say about my courageous, self-sacrificing, loving mother? She stayed home when we were younger which probably is the greatest single cause for my brother and I turning out as decent as we have. I am clearly not perfect, and have my flaws like many others, but overall my mother and father did a tremendous job raising my brother and I. My mother knows children. She should have been a child psychologist. She understands exactly what they need (even the troubled ones). I love hearing her amazing stories from her pre-school job she works at now. She conquers problem kids, she gets them to love her and she does it all with class, grace, and dignity. She is strict but loving at the same time, and children are drawn to her like a magnet because of this. So the question is what positive things came from my Christian upbringing?

1. As I just mentioned my mother stayed home with us when we were children. In my opinion, this was probably the greatest single factor that aided in our successful upbringing. My loving mother stayed home with us as children. She didn't take us to a nursery or send us to the babysitters. We still are very close with her and love her deeply. I don't recall much religious indoctrination at that age but I'm sure Bible stories were told, which seem harmless enough along side stories of the three little pigs and sleeping beauty. Bible stories aren't in themselves wrong. It's just jewish mythology really. It's when we teach them as historical and scientific fact that we start to call that religious indoctrination. Maybe when I have children I can tell them all the fantastic stories from all kinds of different mythologies over human history, not just limit it to the Jewish stories.

2. Sunday school brought fond feelings. I remember my Sunday school teachers using flannel boards to teach us the stories in the Bible. I loved the way the cut out pieces of flannel of Adam and Eve or Noah would stick to the flannel backdrop of the Garden of Eden or Noah's ark. Of course I always wanted to mesh the stories. I was a huge fan of the cartoon "Super Friends" growing up so I enjoyed the all star team sentiment. Only recently have I begin to despise this concept (*An example would be the Miami Heat basketball team.) I also used to think it was so funny to stick Joseph's "coat of many colors" on Samson, or put Daniel's lions in the mouth of Jonah's whale. You get the drift.

3. When I visited my old church recently I was sort of saddened by the lack of entertainment. Maybe everything seemed bigger when I was younger, and I didn't attend a children's service downstairs (which is during the same time as the adult service). The size of the church attendance overall has drastically dropped since I was a kid. Patch the Pirate plays were so fun. I still have those cassette tapes somewhere. Fonda (an attendee of the church that is still currently there and runs the children's ministry) used to do the recruiting. She was the one who was in charge of cooking all that pizza, I mentioned in an earlier blog entry about my recent trip home (just in case you are really following this closely.) My brother and I were always dressed up in some pirate garb every few months for a new "Patch the Pirate" play. She also collaborated with others to present puppet shows to the kids at church. The music was fun and we all had a blast as kids, plus it was my first real introduction into theater and music. Unfortunately I can only get "pirate" gigs in my acting career.

4. The games were also always fun. Competitive sports is a blast. We used to play kickball at school and in church we would have YMCA lock-ins. We had basketball tournaments, and could have had diving competitions in the olympic size swimming pool if I wasn't so terrified of heights. I have fond memories of our Christian school's basketball tournaments. I won a three-point contest at a tournament when I was in junior high. That's right. And a sportsmanship award. So show some respect!! (- because I will obviously show you some in return.) Playing basketball was my obsession then. My Christian school provided me with a sport that had I attended a public school, I would not been talented enough to play, let alone be a starter. Our church also had Monday night "gym nights". Once I began high school I was eligible to join the adults and play against my dad and all his buddies. It was really completive and very fun. Dan was a tough, show no mercy competitor on Monday Night Gym nights.

5. There is a large social benefit to attending a church. Friends and families mix and thus a vibrant community thrives. This is the single hardest aspect of people that become agnostics or atheists. They have to leave that all behind. And we know that human beings are social animals. We thrive off of community. It's what led us to our moralities in the beginning and set up our ethics in the first place. I have friends that I grew up with in church. Some, if not most of which are now non-practicing Christians at the very least; some are open atheists. Some of my closest friends are friends from my childhood, which means friends from my church/Christian school. These connections are more than some supernatural connection. They are real human connections. I think this was the greatest thing church gave me growing up - my best friends. Frans de Waal writes in his book "The Bonobo and the Atheist: In Search of Humanism Among the Primates"

Research points to church attendance as a major factor, which suggests a social dimension. It is well known that social connectedness strengthens the immune system, and church attendance surely helps in this regard. If so, it may not be religiosity per se that protects against disease, but rather human contact. For all we know, the same benefits may apply to members of a book club or a birding society. Churches, however, produce more shared commitment, which does add to a sense of belonging. Emile durkeim, the French father of sociology, emphasized the collective rituals, sacred music, and signing in unison that make religious practice an irresistible bonding experience.

6. Church brought out the rebel in me. I was in no means as much of a rebel as many other friends of mine in my church growing up, but I had my moments. I remember getting "called down" by our Dear Leader from his pulpit during a service as me and my friend were laughing about something. There is this undeserved "father figure" "spiritual expert" respect that must be given to Pastors, sunday school, teachers, and any other authoritarian church figure in church. Typical social hierarchy. We are by nature a hierarchal primate. Talking and laughing during any public speaking event is frowned upon, understandably, but in church it was even more taboo. Especially in "big people" church services. The problem is my friend and I (and my brother as well) kept coming up with the most ludicrous of stories or alternative realities. Think "Mighty Boosh" meets "Tim and Eric", but making less sense. In this world we created all the characters were these caricatures of silly adult church goers sitting in pews next to us, or in the choir, or leading the music, or giving a sermon. Some stories were set outside of the church setting while others involved absurd moments we witnessed. Such as when they set the mortgage of the church building on fire as some dramatic jester; as the congregation cheered we pictured wooden sticks with marshmallows on the ends getting some of that open mortgage flame. As it's been said (or actually never been said), "Nothing more shameful then wasting a perfectly good mortgage blaze." We exaggerated everything, and made what would be boring to most kids into a wide range of comedic, imaginative stories. It was just nearly impossible not to laugh out loud at the absurdity of our imagination running wild in such a senselessly serious environment. Here's a few stories we came up with:

- Carrie's Giant Glasses (that require stilts, wheels, and a track they are so large.)
- Dale and his incredible stretching neck (plus beet red face to boot)
- Mel the Assassin (Mitch is always being watched as he is forced to sing)
- Crotch-walker (someone who could actually only walk on people's crotches)
- The Lizard (no explanation needed)
- Grandfather Clock Falling.
- "I wish I had a watermelon."
- Fonda and the "Ahh my bones" last words at the funeral.
- People that could fold.
- Buddy the Dog.
- Our Mandy Date
- Hoty assassins.
- Owl Towels. (The epic journey of one man.)
- Bat to the Crotch.
- Out of control fireworks
- Jeff and his timeless creed of wisdom, "guys, quit."
- Distant grunter.
- The story of Jason's Mets jacket and the chewing gum
- The Perfect Paperboy
- "Bobby, I gotta go to bed now."
- Who is Cindy Helmet?
- Dan Helmet and the failure of the pizza making machine.
- The great success story of Seth and the house pounding.
- Flies cover human. Human then lifted then dropped to his death. Pointless.

I realize out of context this list makes no sense at all.  So I will go into just one of these to show you what I mean and end with that.

The Story of Mitch Troxell.

There was a great man who grew up in our church and moved on to do greater things. And by greater things I mean more professional spiritual type stuff in the Bible belt of Missouri. He had the voice of a golden god (if only calling a man a "god" wasn't so blatantly blasphemous.) He always sang specials in our church services growing up. In fact we have a wonderful old Polaroid of him in "black face" (that's right, painted black,... like a white man painting himself to look like a black man. You know, church stuff.) Luckily there were no real black people in our congregation to be offended by this joke. He always sang this song called "Hammer Ring" The lyrics went a little something like this... (and a one .. and a two...)

Listen to the hammer
as it rings on Calvary
The nails that held Him captive
They liberated me

Now You might say I'm callus
When you see this joy in me
But every blow was planned by God
And taken willingly

So listen to the hammer ring, and rejoice
Listen to the hammer ring, and thank Jesus
Listen to the hammer ring, for He's taken everything
That was against us, and nailed it to His cross

Precious hands of Jesus
that healed the sick and the lame
His touch was oh so tender
Now those hands are maimed

And those feet to travel
over rough and dusty roads
Now are bloodied by the nails
that my Jesus chose

 So listen to the hammer ring, and rejoice
Listen to the hammer ring, and thank Jesus
Listen to the hammer ring, for He's taken everything
That was against us, and nailed it to His cross

Ever since he moved away our church song specials just weren't the same. The aforementioned Fonda would sometimes go up front to sing. She would always preface her off key song with a long winded testimony that would inevitably end in tears. Of course my eyes were always on the Pastor or the song leader just sitting in the front pew impatiently waiting for this long diatribe to end to not throw off the schedule. THE BUFFET LINES are gonna fill up fast! There was a handful of wonderfully terrible songs by equally talentless vocalists. Some that reminds me of first round American Idol. Praise the Lord with your screeches! Amen. Our youth pastor/choir leader would sometimes sing a special when no one else would fill in. He was talented but his vibrato was so intense he would fluctuate a full few notes each time. Sort of sounded like a lamb. Which I guess, was appropriate.

Anyways, needless to say Mitch came back from time to time to visit. His parents still lived in our small town. Even though he was more like a movie star now when he would visit, (like a Bible Belt celebrity) he would be urged by the church staff to sing a special with each visit. This story actually began because my brother once swore he saw Mitch roll his eyes while singing during one of his visits. Suggesting that he really did not like lowering himself to such lower level superstitious people. So of course as always, my friend, my brother, and I ran with this story. The next thing we know, we created a full blown folklore of Mitch's return visits.

He was clearly being forced (as we imagined - probably by gun point) to sing with each visit back. As he was on stage we imagined that Mel (a church deacon) would be up in the ceiling tiles with a gun pointed at him. The red dot from the site of the sniper would suddenly appear on Mitch's forehead. THEN without a second passing Mitch's sister Peggy would stand up and weakly scream in a raspy voice,

"MITCH! .... there's a sniper on you!"

then Terri Lane shouted instantly, "HIT THE FREAKIN' DIRT, MAN!"

Mitch would in fact "hit the freakin' dirt".

In one imagining we considered (after this initially story was concocted) that one of us would actually be outside the glass doors behind the congregation with a laser pointer. Of course the rest of us would  think it was true as the laser pointer ret dot follows Mitch ever so effortlessly as he dives to the ground. Pure ease. and end of story.

These are the types of things that we came up with, and you can damn well guarantee I am going to remember and write more of these stories .. maybe I'll do a blog short every week or so with another "How to Cure Church Boredom" story (that's what I'll call them). If any of you remember any of this and want to email me or comment with other stories you remember please feel free to do so. If there are any requests from the list you would like to here let me know. I MUST get this out. It's just too important to humanity.

Years ago my friends and I used to be in a band called "Early August". We actually had a small following of fans. We broke up but several years later we started sending out emails and myspace bulletins talking about us reuniting and recording a new song. Well, it was all a joke and it was a actually a rap song with lyrics solely comprised of inside jokes. Most of which were stories from the list I put up above.

The song is called, "Hammer Ring" listen to the mp3 HERE):

http://www.myspace.com/earlyaugust

Meet my old church:

http://www.wbcjax.org/

Meet my old school:

http://www.westfairchristian.com/

"Atheism Remix" Book Review & Comments on a Christian Friend

This is my review of Atheism Remix: A Christian Confronts the New Atheists by R. Albert Mohler Jr.

If anyone at all reading this knows about R. Albert Mohler Jr. it is more than likely from this NPR story titled "Christians Divided Over Science of Human Origins".

http://www.npr.org/2011/09/22/140710361/christians-divided-over-science-of-human-origins

In this story the author of the book Atheism Remix: A Christian Confronts the New Atheists shows his support for a literal Adam and Eve event in human history: one man, one woman. (You know, just like REAL marriage!) Dan, an old friend of mine, mentioned a book his boss at the time had written. This was the book by R. Albert Mohler. At the time this was mentioned Dan and I were having a mild debate on creationism vs. evolution. Dan attended the same Christian Junior High School I had once attended in a small town in the Midwest. He eventually went on to attain his degree from a Bible college and become a professor, pastor, and currently dean of Boyce College in Kentucky. We took drastically different paths. I let go of Christianity after attending a different Bible college and have become a vocal atheist/anti-theist. We have clashed several times on facebook. Dan preferred to come to an em passe (as he would say) in our discussion. I always wanted to dig deeper and to come to some sort of change (one of us). Looking back at some of those heated discussions I see many flaws (as we usually do as we learn more) by my tactics of debate, but the general themes I was arguing were never really answered - which seems common with all Christian apologists. Let's just say, ... They like to dance.

When I was beginning my Bible college education I looked up to Dan as someone I wanted to be like. He was young, funny, and energetic, with a passion for the gospel. He made that gospel relevant to our generation. He seemed real and his beliefs and convictions came from a real place compared to many Christians I had grown up with, those that were simply brainwashed since birth. Dan was brought up in a Christian home, but he attended a public high school eventually. Growing up, I remember he was very intimidating to me. Dan was tough and intense as a teenager. I suppose when he was eventually "saved" and "called" into the ministry it made me respect him and admire the life-changing power of God.

The last time I really talked with Dan we discussed reading Kenneth Miller's Finding Darwin's God: A Scientist's Search for Common Ground Between God and Evolution . We were to complete a book then come up with a short little essay bullet pointing some of the key points. Then we would present it to each other and discuss what we agreed with and disagreed with. I still have not finished the book, and this assignment sort of fizzled out. I had an issue with pinning Dan down on a single subject. I never wanted to talk about atheism or abiogenesis. I just wanted to talk about common descent and evolution by natural selection vs. intelligent design. This is an argument that is airtight in favor of the theory of evolution. There is no other alternative theory to how life began and as good religious apologists do, Dan danced around the subject matter never specifically answering questions, instead just attacking the way I ask questions. For an expert in Christian theology (to a good degree, though he may say otherwise) he tries very hard not to discuss anything other than theism vs. atheism. Which is ultimately a discussion between deism vs. atheism in my opinion. Theism to Christianity is literally "a leap of faith" with not enough (if any) sufficient evidence. However, the scientific evidence to support the theory of evolution (that for me quite literally destroyed my belief in Yahweh) is too immense to argue. Learning the basics of evolution led me completely away from Christianity. Science killed the God of the Bible in my life.

Almost a year or so has passed since I talked with Dan about anything regarding these topics. During our lull I did, in haste, post a "KONI 2012" link on his facebook wall before doing much research on the hype (not my best skeptic moment). Sorry, if you were one of my facebook friends reading this right now that was victim of my "sheeple moment". The other day I was thinking of the next blog entry when I remember Dan's old boss's book Atheism Remix. I looked it up online and found it used for $6 with shipping and purchased it. In the next few weeks I cracked open the 108 pg. book to see what this was all about. As most atheists I've been a huge fan of the "four horsemen" (Dawkins, Dennett, Harris, and the late Hitchens) and all of their books and debates. I've watched the 2 hour long "Four Horsemen" video Dawkin's released about 6 times (where they all sit around drinking and talk about religion). As you can imagine I was very skeptical after knowing a little of what R. Albert Mohler Jr. is all about. I've seen him talk about creationism and stories in the Bible being historically and scientifically accurate. I've seen him on Larry King showing his disapproval of gay marriage. So in a way I went into this book biased. I wanted a good laugh. So I cracked it open

First off,

The book is mostly resumes for each of the "New Atheists". Mohler begins telling us what Old Atheism is, how it started, and what new atheism is and how it arose from secularism. The one thing I expected out of this book (but knew in all seriousness I really wouldn't get) was a single specific refuting argument against a a single specific argument made by the New Atheists. When I pause to think for a second, I can conjure up about a dozen specific arguments made by either Hitchens, Dennett, Harris, or Dawkins against theism and not a single one of them was addressed in this book. In fact, the only time Mohler shares criticism at all is when he is quoting other theologians who have written books such as The Twilight of Atheism: The Rise and Fall of Disbelief in the Modern World by Alister McGrath, The New Atheists: The Twilight of Reason and The War on Religion by Tina Beattie, and John F. Taught's God and the New Atheism: A Critical Response to Dawkins, Harris, and Hitchens. Mohler also mentions Alvin Plantinga who has written a few articles in several different publications criticizing the New Atheists.

Mostly all arguments cited from these books deal with Richard Dawkins and his book "The God Delusion". Sam Harris is mentioned as the "junior partner in the enterprise of the New Atheism." The New Atheist Mohler barely mentions is the late, great Christopher Hitchens. I wonder why?! Besides providing a small resume he barely mentions his book God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything. The author does make a rather weak point. He states that the tepid Christian education that Christopher Hitchens and Richard Dawkins received as children more than likely produced their devout atheism. I suppose if they were to be brought up under someone like Jerry Falwell or James Dobson we may have a couple devout Christian evangelists on our hands instead. All arguments seem to converge on the simple assertion that Richard Dawkins wouldn't pass a sophomore college class in philosophy with arguments he presents in his book. He is out of his field of study and makes obvious points against vague, ignorant, stereotyped religious people. While there may be some point to these assertions there is no helpful alternative presented in this book.

Alister McGrath believes Dawkins book "The God Delusion" is made for his fellow atheists as a rally cry to start a revolution against religion. They fail to see that the book is also written for the laymen, the average church-going American who absolutely fits the stereotype presented in his book. A good portion of the people reading Dawkin's book are Americans, and as Mohler makes clear more than once: Most Americans believe in God and nearly 40% don't accept the theory of evolution. Dawkin's book wasn't meant for the theologian Bible scholars with upper level degrees in theology. Richard Dawkin's is writing a book to reach the religious masses.

That brings me to one of many logical fallacies Mohler so kindly graces us with - "Appeal to Popularity". Our author asserts several times in the book that the majority of Americans (95%) believe in God which shows us that secularization is not winning. To his credit however, Mohler does go on to tell the global story that in countries like Germany, Sweden, the Netherlands, France, Spain, etc. only 1-5 percent of the population attend church. He states that fewer than 10 percent of these populations claim to believe in God, but in America ("the most hyper-modern state in the world as measured by sociological analysis"-  as he puts it) some 40% of Americans don't accept evolution as how we came to be. Thus, evolution is not a sure bet on how we came to be (Fallacy #2 - The Balance Fallacy: Thinking that there is equality between to things Evolution vs. Intelligent Design) Within this mini-book we see logical fallacies ranging from "Appeal to Authority", "Appeal to Tradition", and "Appeal to Consequences of Belief", to name just a few.

I also noticed this behavior and attitude in the New Christians (as I will now call them). There is this laughing off, this intellectual snobby attitude where when we as atheists question the absurdity, contradictions, or falsehood of specific passages of the Bible we are "out of our element". Scholars whose whole life it is to study the original texts in their original languages have answers to these concerns. (Clearly it takes a full time job and an entire academic field to come up with excuses for an irrelevant ancient book pieced together by less intelligent human beings than us). This goes to prove nothing. This is the logical fallacy "Appeal to Authority". There is something to this intellectual dishonesty and academic hysteria that appears to me to be the one last defense before religious literalism crumbs apart completely. Before it all becomes so irrelevant and is studied as simply mythology along with the Greek or Egyptian gods and their stories. Ask a Biblical literalist that is educated like William Lane Craig what they think of the historicity of the talking donkey story in the book of Numbers and see how they respond. They usually don't or give some complicated verbal dance using big theological words that really mean, "yeah, we're full of shit. Obviously a donkey didn't actually talk, but I can't actually admit that the Bible is full of fantastical fictional tales.

For example,

I once asked Dan if he really thought Jonah lived inside a whale, a donkey talked to his owner, and two of every animal species fit on one boat to avoid a worldwide flood. I couldn't get a straight yes or no answer. (*Just as I never could when asking how old he thought planet Earth was). That seems like a simple enough question. Dan responded to the first question with something to the effect of

- Why would you think that I couldn't think these things are possible? I, as a Christian, believe that there is an all-powerful, all-knowing deity that transformed his own son into a human/god to die for the rest of the human race so they won't burn forever in hell? Why would I not believe in miracles such as Joshua stopping the sun or Jesus resurrecting the dead? To be a Christian you simply believe in the supernatural.

Well, um. OK then...

So his answer to my question was of course I believe it .. why? Because the Bible said so and how do I know the Bible is true? Because the Bible says it is? So it's just faith then? When you get to this part... Dan goes silent. See, to theists their faith has evidence to back it up but when asked for evidence it is either going to take an advanced degree in theology, ancient history, and ancient languages to decipher the holy books or it will take too much time to show me Christian history. However we, as atheists, have beliefs that if traced back, end with evidence (until the point where the is no more sufficient evidence). Theists have beliefs that if traced back end with faith. Period. The entire path of Christianity is not littered with evidence at all but faulty assumptions and circumstantial historical documents. Atheism leads us to be humble and say WE DON'T KNOW! where Christians and other theists say we not only know but if you don't accept what we know then you will be punished. Sorry - it's just the nature of God. (who we can't prove exists. Oh but he loves you too.).

 The interesting thing is the "liberal" theologians that Mohler uses to "prove" that this New Atheism is flawed are people that he doesn't ultimately agree with. For example Haught and Beattie are, as Mohler writes, "appalled by the identification of Christian theology with biblical literalism." The "liberal" theologians Mohler cites are in complete opposition to what Mohler believes. He is a Biblical literalist and goes on to offer no reason to be a Biblical literalist except that the Bible says its true so it is. Mohler writes,

This means that Haught, with Beattie, is particularly appalled by those who defend the historicity of the Genesis accounts of creation and, more broadly, those who would argue that evolutionary theory and biblical theism are fundamentally incompatible. 

So I found myself eight pages away from the end of this book eagerly awaiting an answer on how to address this problem from the author of our little book.  Mohler needs to explain to me how the historicity of the Bible and Christian theism can make sense with everything we know about the cosmos (including Earth and our origins) through modern science. I need specifics and there is less than ten pages left. I would, as you would suspect be disappointed.

R. Albert Mohler Jr. sums things up in the last few pages,

The only God that matters is a supernatural God - a personal God - who will judge. In the end, the existence of the supernatural, self-existent, and self-revealing God is the only adequate starting point for Christian theology. 

Mohler's point seems to be that the New Atheists and New Christians can meet on this common ground that liberal theologian scholars can't, that God is supernatural and the Bible is literal, and historically and scientifically accurate. This is where we are, sure I agree. The New Atheists fight isn't with the liberal Biblical scholars but with the common Christian (the New Christians) who think the Bible is to be followed as a perfect mandate from God. Mohler's end of the book sounds like the beginning of the book, or at least the early middle. We need to start from this part. I hope Mohler is planning on writing a second book because it goes on to end offering no answers, even within the last two chapters titled, "The Defense of Theism" and "The Future of Christianity" 

As I approached the last 2 pages of the book I was laughing out loud and shaking my head in confirmation of what I already knew before I opened this small book- We have not only no specific arguments presented here against specific claims made by the New Atheists, but we have not a single argument supporting theism. Oh, and even better, readers of this book are also left with not a single argument for Christianity. The last page tries to sum up how the author feels Christians must fight in the public arena of ideas for the "truth" of Christianity (giving no instructions on how to specifically do this). As I'm reminded from Sam Harris, "We are seeing religion losing the argument on a hundred different fronts." And Mohler ends with "The New Atheists are certainly right about one very important thing - it's atheism not biblical theism. There is nothing in between." ... I actually wrote the words underneath "Wait! .. What? NO!" This last sentence is false. There are plenty of things in between. Ever heard of Islam? There are few other religions out there. And multiple denominations and sects in each. Mohler is the same all all the New Christian apologists who understand some philosophy but no science. Even though they commit constant logical fallacies such as the obvious "Argument from Authority" or "Appeal to Ignorance". 

Now please take time to look at Dan blog. He doesn't allow comments so post comments here or email me if you want to discuss anything. He has obviously put much more time into the layout of his blog than say me or many other atheists blogs I've seen.  He enjoys graphic design as well as preaching the gospel. But just because something is dressed up doesn't distract from the fact that at it's core there is nothing there. There is no argument for theism / specifically Christian theism. Read through some of Dan's posts or even sketches. You will see poking holes (that sometimes I may even mildly agree with) at Harris explaining morality strictly through scientific means. You will see his blog entries where he talks all about New Atheism and some of their arguments then in the end .. makes a giant unintelligible leap to the gospel with no string of evidence to support this leap. It's a leap of faith and that is all. It would just be nice if on this point he was honest.

-Meet Albert Mohler:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhypIUOvp3s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=endscreen&v=k_iCmRBFOPk

- Meet Dan:

(his blog page) http://www.theolatte.com/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quVQEKII4JY