I've called off the search. I know exactly where you are. - Everyone, Everywhere
Today is Halloween and I haven't bought candy yet. I probably should go do that soon before the hoards of zombies, aliens, vampires, and princesses come knocking at our door. This holiday has always been a favorite of mine since I was a kid. What American kid didn't love Halloween? My parents were very strict Christians but they we're total killjoys like Jehovah Witnesses. My mom and dad always took us to trick or treat. We used to have a blast dressing up and collecting candy from our neighbors. Though I always hated getting those stupid Werther's Originals. NO ONE LIKES BUTTERSCOTCH, GODDAMN IT! I'm a kid not a 80 year old man, give me some sweet tarts or taffy!
There was an interesting story my dad and mom told me of their teenage years when they first met at their local church. It was around this time of year their youth group raised money and built a massive haunted house in an old abandoned house - A sort of "hell house". If you aren't familiar with one of these then check out my link below. It's basically created to scare the lost into salvation through Jesus. Find the documentary "Hell House" (I think it may even be on Netflix) and watch it.
My parent's specific "hell house" dealt mostly with the "End Times", what happens to Earth after the rapture, during the tribulation. They described scary scenes of be-headings (of those that become Christian after the rapture only if they had never heard of the gospel prior to it). They showed the anti-Christ and the new world order forcing people to take the "mark of the beast" and so on. Of course they had a scene of the judgment seat of God where he casts people into hell, and what "hell house" wouldn't be complete without a walk-through tour of people burning in hell (with all the screaming and gnashing of teeth).
After terrified children and teenagers came stumbling through the exit they would be instantly greeted by a handful of ministers, pastors, and counselors who would "lead them to the Lord." I will admit, this is mostly how and why I was "saved" about 10 different times. All due to fear - of hell but actually mostly for fear of being "left behind" in the rapture. I didn't want to get be-headed when I was a child! That can stress a child out! At our local church, in a Wednesday night AWANA's session they showed us a very terrifying movie called "Thief in the Night" (I've mentioned this 70's movie before in previous blogs. It's a series of movies, four total). It certainly scared me at the time. I was terrified. Adults are supposed to comfort kids not scare them with horror movies then say this is REAL and will happen one day. I can imagine most well-meaning Christians, especially the New Christians, the hipster apologist-type would be repulsed by this scare-tactic method for young children. Good.
The thing about normal haunted houses is you don't have people greeting you after you get out telling you that what you just experienced, little kids, is REAL! That's basically child abuse and wrong to say the least. There were a lot of things like this growing up that I think should have been addressed by higher ups in the church. I feel like some were to an extent, but clearly not enough. The Sunday school teacher I'm thinking of specifically had a sort of Jim Jones-esc vibe to him. Not that he was a cult leader, but he certainly leaned towards crazy conspiracy. I love how a giant popular cult centered around blood sacrifice like Christianity has conspiracy fringe loons embedded in many of their churches and schools. These men and women have the ear of a lot of children and they get to spew whatever wacko woo they pull out of their crazy asses .. as long as, well, you know ... it leads to that Jewish carpenter in the end.
So tonight, when the little elves, angels, fairies, wizards, hobbits, devils come over to your house just realize that some of these storybook characters are beings that many religious people believe /actually/ exist. How is it we have some children smarter than many adults?! In a country where many people don't accept entire fields of science like climate science, or deny the entire foundation of biology (evolution), or think vaccines are bad, yet believe in spirits, ghost organs (souls), demons, and angels... we have a serious problem. Many of us scratch our heads and wonder how in this developed country, in this day and age we have people like this. It is truly mind-boggling. We are tripped up so much by our ape intuitions, (even though of course humans aren't part of the animal kingdom and evolution is a lie from a made up evil angel called Satan) yet have smart phones and fly in airplanes. We are a very bizarre species indeed.
Anyways ...
Anyways ...
Happy Halloween!
Things you need to see:
Everyone, Everywhere "I Feel Exhausted":
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d91ihBqLiJo
Hell House documentary:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXxfIktv8RQ
Just for laughs. This is hilarious! - The Ellen Show: "Andy and Jacqueline Brave the Haunted House":
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEVrYx8-lys
* Photo from NASA image of the sun with active regions creating the features of the Jack-o-Lantern.
https://www.nasa.gov/content/goddard/sdo-jack-o-lantern-sun
** The lyric at the start is from an amazing new band, whose albums I highly recommend. They're style to me sounds like a flashback from the past of old emo music. I feel that lyric resonates to figuring out motives behind people - for example: these youth pastors and Sunday school teachers that trick children for a career. Leave kids alone, spew your laughably useless ancient dogma to adults, assholes.
